


Soul Mates

by purajobot935



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, Bonding, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Coping, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Male Slash, One Shot, Spark Bond, Tactile, Tissue Warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2012-09-22
Packaged: 2017-11-14 19:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purajobot935/pseuds/purajobot935
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prowl is one of the Autobots assigned to the energon run to Earth, while Jazz remains at the Moonbase.... Please please do heed the tags and warnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soul Mates

Soul Mates

 

_Remember, I will still be here_

_As long as you hold me_

_In your memory…_

Prowl was hiding something. It was clear with every move he made, every gesture. It was written on his face and in his optics. Even now, as he sat at his work station, bent over his work, head bowed as he scanned the information coming to him, Jazz knew Prowl was hiding something.

 

The saboteur watched the tactician from his own work station just a few feet away at the communications desk, and sighed to himself. Ever since a quarter of the Autobots had relocated to the Moonbases orbiting Cybertron, the two life-partners had grown just the slightest bit distant from each other. Only a couple of days earlier they had argued over the state of the room they shared. Jazz still couldn’t believe that he’d let himself get worked up over something as trivial as that, and he’d finally worked up the will to apologize, yet here Prowl was now, hiding something.

 

Jazz rolled his optics, then on impulse, rolled on his chair and bumped into Prowl’s. The tactician looked up, doorwings arching back a little.

 

“Is something the matter, Jazz?” he asked.

 

“Prowl, c’mon man, don’t be like this,” Jazz said. “I’m sorry alright? You can have the room the way ya like it, just… don’t do this. We ain't been close in a while. Nothing’s going on up here, so whadda ya say we ditch this for a while and go somewhere we can talk huh?”

 

“As much as I would like to, Jazz, we’re both on duty,” Prowl replied.

 

“Not anymore,” Sunstreaker said, coming inside the room. “I’m taking over. Both of you get your afts out there.”

 

“You’re supposed to be patrolling, Sunstreaker,” Prowl said, his voice full of authority.

 

“Yeah, I know. Hound’s taking care of that for me.”

 

“I will not have you threatening…”

 

“He offered to do it. He gave up his time off so I could come here and help a friend out.” the yellow mech looked at Jazz. “This is a matter of friendship, not duty. I’ll be slagged if I let this war break up a perfectly good relationship.” He exchanged a look with Prowl.

 

Jazz nudged the other black and white. “C’mon Prowl, lets do this, for us.”

 

“Alright.” Prowl gave in, stood up and led the way out of the room.

 

“Thanks Sunny,” Jazz said as he followed Prowl out.

 

The two black and whites walked down the short hallway and stepped outside. They found a quiet spot away from the main building and sat down together on the ground. There was a moment of silence before Jazz draped an arm around Prowl’s shoulders and pulled him closer. He felt his mate tense slightly and a hurt look crossed the saboteur’s face. Prowl glanced at him and saw it.

 

“Jazz, I…”

 

“Don’t say you’re sorry Prowl. It ain't you. Its just been rough up here these last couple of months – on everyone. I still love ya.”

 

Prowl rested his head on his mate’s shoulder and snaked an arm around his waist. “I’ve not exactly been fair to you either, especially over the whole room argument. I wasn’t really upset over the room itself. I was just upset.”

 

“Wanna tell me what you’re upset about?”

 

“What makes you think I’m still upset?”

 

Jazz pressed his cheek to the side of Prowl’s helm. “Because I know you better than anyone else.”

 

Prowl raised his head and looked Jazz in the optics, before pressing a soft kiss to his partner’s mouth. “I talked to Prime. And he…,” the tactician kissed Jazz again. “… he wants me to accompany Brawn, Ratchet and Ironhide to Earth on an energon run.”

 

Jazz cupped the side of Prowl’s face in his right hand and stroked his thumb across Prowl’s cheek. “How long?”

 

“I don’t know. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” He sighed heavily.

 

“When do you leave?” Jazz tried to keep his voice light, eventhough he ached inside. He knew Prowl was hurting too.

 

“A few days, maybe a couple.” Prowl leaned into Jazz’s hand, relishing the touch.

 

“That’s still a few days for us together.” The Porsche tightened his grip around the Datsun’s shoulders. “And I don’t think y’all will be gone for long. Prime needs you guys back.”

 

“I hope you’re right Jazz.”

 

“We’ll see how it goes. For now, lets enjoy the present shall we? We’re together at the moment.”

 

“I couldn’t agree more.”

 

Prowl cupped the back of Jazz’s neck in his left hand, pulled him closer and kissed him a little more intensely than he had before. He leaned into the saboteur, forcing his mate to lean back against his other arm that was wrapped securely around Jazz’s waist. Once he had the Porsche’s weight on it, he maneuvered Jazz onto his back and leaned over him, his kiss becoming more passionate. Jazz squirmed slightly, trying to pull away for a breather, but his head was trapped between Prowl’s and the ground. His hand slid to Prowl’s chest and he pushed him back a little, forcing him to let go.

 

“Prowl…” he gasped.

 

The Datsun moved to kiss him again, and Jazz turned his head slightly so the kiss landed on his jaw.

 

“Prowl, wait…”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Maybe we should take this inside, hmm?”

 

Prowl backed off. “Good idea.”

 

He stood up and helped his mate to his feet. The Porsche staggered a bit, feeling a little light-headed. Prowl kept his arm around his bonded’s waist and guided him back inside to their quarters, saying a silent word of thanks to Sunstreaker, and making a mental note to give the yellow warrior a little extra time off.

 

~*~

 

_Remember, when your dreams have ended_

_Time can be transcended_

_Just remember me._

Jazz’s chronometer still counted the days according to Earth’s GMT, and so far he figured they’d all been stuck on the Moonbase for a good three months by now. He sat at the communications desk again at what would have been the afternoon of the next day, alone this time as Prowl was down at Medical for a routine check-up. Jazz half wished he could have been down there too, to watch.

 

Prowl, after all, was a living example of how best to take care of oneself. He did not, for a fact, think it was necessary for him to be having a check-up when he was still in good working condition, and Jazz guessed that the only reason he was down there at all was out of a sense of respect for Ratchet, and maybe a little bit of fear. Ratchet’s orders were not things to be trifled with if one valued his existence.

 

Jazz also hoped that Prowl had not strained anything during their previous night of intimacy, or he was going to have a hard time explaining to the Chief Medical Officer how exactly he’d gotten strained in the first place. Part of Jazz would have given anything to see that scenario take place.

 

He sighed fondly, thinking of his beloved mate, counting himself truly blessed to have such a wonderful life-bonded partner. He simply couldn’t imagine himself loving anyone else the way he did Prowl. The tactician completed him in ways he hadn’t thought possible before. They were opposites, yes, but they were also very similar in some ways. The way they loved and cared for each other, the way they understood each other to a point where they didn’t need words to know what the other was thinking. They just knew.

 

Life-bonded. That was what they were, literally. Together forever, eternal love and all those clichés. It was like they shared the same spark, so deep and strong was their love for each other, and Jazz never, ever wanted to stop loving Prowl. He loved Prowl to death, and somehow he figured that if – Primus forbid – he ever lost his mate, he wouldn’t know how to go on living. His bond to Prowl was like that of the Twins: Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Neither could live without the other, and Jazz understood what that was like now. To love someone with all your very BEING. Humans used the term soul-mates. Jazz figured that was pretty much what he and Prowl were.

 

The door slid open and Prowl stepped inside. Jazz glanced back at him with a dazzling smile. The Datsun crossed the small room to his usual seat, a small smile of his own on his face.

 

“What?” he asked his mate.

 

“Oh nothing, was just thinking about my beloved,” Jazz replied.

 

“Really? And who might that be?”

 

“The one I’m gonna toss a datapad at if he asks anymore silly questions like that.”

 

Prowl sat down, still smiling, and for a while the two worked in peaceful silence.

 

“Prowl,” Jazz said suddenly.

 

“Yes Jazz?”

 

“I love you.”

 

The tactician smiled. “The feeling is very mutual, I promise you.”

 

Outside the room, Sunstreaker and Hound who were passing by, heard, looked at each other, and smiled, or in Sunstreaker’s case, smirked.

 

“I guess your plan worked,” Hound said.

 

“It better have. Bad enough I’m stuck here without Sideswipe, the only thing that keeps me going sometimes are those two. Weren’t for them, I’d have gone crazy.”

 

“They do seem to take especially good care of you,” Hound chuckled.

 

“Its not just that. It’s the way they love each other. It reminds me so much of myself and Sides. That pure, uncompromising love that you’d be surprised to know you can have for another being.”

 

“Didn’t know you were capable of love ‘Streaker,” joked Hound.

 

“I’m capable of a lot of things you don’t know of Hound…. Those two back there, sometimes I wonder if it goes deeper than what Sides and I have. We love each other ‘cause we’re brothers, twins. Prowl and Jazz love each other just as much, but without any sibling connection. Just makes me wonder….”

 

“Souls maybe,” the green scout said. “If they’re not bonded at the spark, then maybe their souls are bonded, perhaps in ways no one will ever know.”

 

Sunstreaker gave a sort of sad smile. “If that’s the case, then I hope to Primus that I never have to see the day where one of them dies and leaved the other behind.

 

~*~

 

_I am the one star_

_That keeps burning, so brightly_

_It is the last light_

_To fade into the rising sun_

_I’m with you_

_Whenever you tell my story_

_For I am all I’ve done._

Jazz leaned into Prowl’s arms as they sat together on the recharge berth they shared, and glanced at the few ‘glow-in-the-dark’ stars he’d pasted on the walls to remind him of the real stars he’d often gazed at with Prowl when back on Earth. They’d learned a while ago that Prowl would be leaving in less than 12 Earth hours, and neither was looking forward to it.

 

Prowl leaned forward, nuzzled and kissed Jazz’s neck, but the saboteur couldn’t bring himself to respond. He felt numb. The thought of being separated from his beloved mate had wrapped icy fingers around his spark and had frozen his circuits to a point where he could barely feel anything. He’d kept up a brave front since first learning of the news, and tried to remain cheery and upbeat, but now it felt like it was all crumbling around him. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of his storage banks. Prowl seemed to sense this somehow, and gently drew him closer and held him. Jazz rested his head on his partner’s shoulder, a small sigh escaping his lips.

 

“It ain't fair,” he said softly.

 

Prowl stroked the back of his helm. “No. No, it isn’t. But then, when has anything about this war been fair?”

 

“You’re all I got.”

 

“Sshhh… don’t speak like that Jazz. Its only for a little while.”

 

Jazz sighed again.

 

Prowl lifted his head up and looked into his optics. “Don’t let it take this moment away from us too.” He cupped the side of Jazz’s face in his hand. “Let us enjoy the present. We’re together now aren’t we?”

 

The Porsche wrapped one arm around his partner’s neck. “Yes we are.”

 

They kissed softly for a while, and as they did, Jazz reached and took Prowl’s white hand in his black one, and held onto it tightly. Prowl kissed him again, trailing his fingers down Jazz’s face to his neck and then behind it. They found a fold of armor and slipped in between, touching a sensitive circuit there. Jazz shivered as a surge ran through his body, then another. He released Prowl’s hand, held the other mech closer and kissed him deeply. Prowl leaned into it, his free hand now encircling Jazz’s waist and guiding him down onto the berth.

 

He released the kiss, leaned over Jazz, bent and kissed his neck, brushing the circuit again with his fingertip. The resulting surge arched Jazz’s back, causing a small moan to escape his lips. His own fingers found one of Prowl’s sensitive spots, where his doorwings joined to his back and he gently caressed the circuit. Prowl gasped, his body shivering with the sensation as Jazz’s free hand came to rest on his hip.

 

A small smile crossed the saboteur’s lips but was soon lost when Prowl captured his mouth in a passionate kiss, the tactician’s free hand gently stroking Jazz’s back. Jazz brushed his fingers across the circuit, and the surge that ran through Prowl’s body caused him to pull away just slightly from Jazz’s kiss. Jazz’s lips brushed against Prowl’s, kissing them lightly before another surge caused the tactician to kiss Jazz more intensely.

 

As the kiss deepened, Jazz brought a hand up to his face, detached his visor and let it drop to the floor. When Prowl pulled back, he looked down into pale, crystal-blue optics that were ringed with moisture. Fluid leaked from them and trailed their way down the saboteur’s face.

 

“I don’t want you to go,” Jazz said softly, his voice choking with emotion.

 

Prowl felt his own optics burn as he leaned forward to gently kiss Jazz’s forehead. Warm tears escaped their confines and splashed down on to his beloved mate’s face.

 

“I’m not leaving you,” Prowl replied, his own voice catching, and he placed a gentle kiss on Jazz’s mouth. “I’ll never leave you.” He kissed him again. “I’ll come back to you.”

 

“You promise?”

 

“I promise. I wont leave you alone, Jazz.”

 

Jazz kissed him. “Be careful.”

 

Prowl stroked his face. “I will. You’re the one in more danger here, on the Moonbase. I don’t want anything to happen to you while I’m gone.”

 

“I’ll be careful.”

 

“Don’t let them take you away from me.”

 

“I wont. I promise.”

 

Prowl lay down on his side and took Jazz into his arms, touching his forehead to his beloved’s. Jazz wrapped his arms around his mate, holding him close. They lay that way for a while, finding comfort in each other’s arms, their optics meeting and locking, foreheads touching. But the tears continued to flow until at last both slipped into recharge….

 

~*~

 

_Remember, I will still be here_

_As long as you hold me_

_In your memory._

_Remember me._

The two were woken by Ironhide’s voice over the comm. system, asking Prowl to get his posterior down to the shuttle bay. They sat up, and Prowl bent and picked up Jazz’s visor. When Jazz had replaced it back over his optics, they headed out of the room together.

 

The shuttle stood ready for take-off, only missing one more occupant. Just before Prowl boarded, he pulled Jazz into his arms and hugged him tightly for a good, long moment. A tear dripped  from Jazz’s face onto his shoulder.

 

“Remember I’ll always be with you,” he whispered into Jazz’s audio. “If you ever feel lonely, think of me, remember what we have, and remember…” his voice caught. He pulled back and looked Jazz in the optics. “Remember I love you.” Then he kissed Jazz deeply, not caring who saw them. “And I always will.”

 

Jazz kissed him back. “I love you too, Prowl.”

 

Sunstreaker came up and reluctantly placed a hand on Jazz’s shoulder. “We need you to help launch the shuttle,” he said. Gently he pulled Jazz away from Prowl.

 

For his part, Prowl turned away – tears glistening on his own face – and walked up the ramp into the shuttle. Jazz stepped into the control room to join Cliffjumper. Tactician and saboteur locked optics one last time before the doors closed on both of them, and the shuttle took off.

 

It was the last time Jazz ever saw Prowl alive.

 

**

***

****

***

**

 

_I am that one voice_

_In the cold wind, that whispers_

_And if you listen_

_You’ll hear me call across the sky_

_As long as_

_I still can reach out, and touch you_

_Then I will never die._

The cool wind traveled across the lonely countryside under a glowing blue afternoon sky, its only companion the rustling of leaves and grass. Miles it wandered until it reached the valley that housed Autobot City. Yet, it did not go in, for if it did, it would fade and die. Instead, it turned north, up a slope just outside the city – what the Autobots called Memorial Hill – and there it picked up a new sound. The sound of an agonized scream – so raw and unbridled with emotion that the wind stopped to wrap itself around the one who had emitted it.

 

Jazz dropped to his knees, his feet unable to hold him up any longer. He reached up, ripped the visor from his face and tossed it onto the grass, optics laid bare as he read the word engraved on the smooth, white marble beneath the Autobot insignia: PROWL. He planted his palms on the grass and bowed his head as the first sobs racked his body. Then the floodgates opened and the tears came forth, each one burning a trail down his face.

 

Nearby, as Sideswipe looked on, a look of pain crossed his face and he turned and walked away, unable to bear the sight of Jazz in so much grief. A few moments later he was joined by his twin brother Sunstreaker. The yellow mech placed a hand on the red’s shoulder.

 

“Where are you going?” he asked.

 

“Away,” Sideswipe replied. “I cant see him like that.”

 

“We cant leave him.”

 

“That emotion’s too personal, even for us.”

 

“I know.”

 

They stopped under a tree a little further off and waited…

 

Jazz had arrived from Cybertron that morning, and as soon as he had adjusted back to Earth’s environment, the Twins had pulled him aside to tell of the fatalities of the latest round of the war. But neither had been able to put into proper words the fate of his mate Prowl, so they had brought him up to Memorial Hill instead, to let him see for himself. They had expected a grieveous reaction, but nothing had prepared them for what they finally saw and heard.

 

Sideswipe sat on the grass, hugging his knees to his chest. Jazz’s cry of grief and horror had shaken him down to his very core, and he knew it had affected Sunstreaker too. The yellow warrior stood beside him, arms crossed, optics fixed on the ground.

 

“They have to pay,” Sideswipe murmured.

 

“They WILL pay,” Sunstreaker snapped. “And we’re going to make them, by taking out each and every last one of them.”

 

“Is there anything we can do for Jazz?”

 

“I don’t know Sides. I don’t know what he’s going through. The closest example I can come up with is how I’d feel if I lost you, and believe me, it feels pretty damn miserable. That’s probably how Jazz is feeling right now.”

 

“Or maybe even 10 times worse.” Sideswipe sighed. “How long should we give him?”

 

“As long as we can.”

 

Jazz couldn’t think, he couldn’t speak. Looking at that stone and realizing what had happened had sent his body and mind into a state of shock. Grief tore into his spark like razor-sharp claws. He hurt right down to his very core, his very being. Memories flashed across his optics, then shattered to pieces and stabbed him with shards of sorrow. He wanted to pass out, but cruel pain kept slapping him back to consciousness. Where once he had been filled with unconditional love, there was now a vast, barren emptiness inside of him.

 

He lay down on the grass, unable to hold himself up anymore. His optics dimmed and glowed as a river of tears flowed from them on to the soil. Evening stretched across the sky, covering Jazz’s sobbing body with a blanket of shadows, and the wind caressed him and dried his tears. Yet the pain, the grief and the emptiness remained, and he didn’t know how to make them go away.

 

A yellow hand gently touched his arm, and a pair of strong arms helped him sit up. Sideswipe crouched down on his other side and gently slipped his visor back over his optics. Jazz looked at them.

 

“Prowl’s really gone isn’t he?” he asked.

 

Sideswipe looked away.

 

“Yes he is,” Sunstreaker answered. “Listen Jazz, I know this is slagging hard on you, but you’ve got to pull through this. Life has to go on for you, for all of us.”

 

“Prowl was my life,” Jazz said softly.

 

Sideswipe put an arm around the black and white mech’s shoulders. “We should get back to Autobot City,” he said quietly. “They’re waiting for us.”

 

“He’s right. If we don’t head back, Rodimus is only going to send more ‘Bots out to look for us.”

 

“I don’t know if I have the energy.”

 

“That’s alright,” Sideswipe said. “That’s why Sunny and I are here. We’re going to help you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

 

They took an arm each and helped him to stand.

 

“Lets just try to make it down the hill for starters, alright?” Sunstreaker said.

 

~*~

 

_Remember, I’ll never leave you_

_If you will only_

_Remember me_

_Remember me…_

Three days after his first visit to Prowl’s grave, Jazz stood on Memorial Hill once more, looking down at the white stone, where a candle burned at its base, struggling to stay bright against the evening breeze that drifted lazily across the slope. Waves of grief and sorrow continued to crash into him, like they had been doing for the past few days.

 

He didn’t sleep. Dreams plagued his subconscious. Dreams of happier times when he would fall asleep beside Prowl, feeling the other’s comforting presence beside him. Now there was only cold space. He couldn’t recharge. He had tried drinking energon, but kept throwing it up no sooner had he consumed it. He hadn’t talked to anyone since that day, not even the Twins. He just didn’t know what to say anymore. He didn’t smile anymore, he didn’t laugh. He didn’t remember how.

 

Oh, but he cried. He cried every day. The tears never failed to flow. All that he had left was his music, but even that was starting to lose its power over him.

 

“You said you’d never leave me!” he shouted at the stone. “Ya promised me man! Ya promised you’d never leave me alone! You were supposed ta come back!”

 

The wind blew, the flame flickered. Jazz looked up at the twilight sky.

 

“WHY?! Primus, why?! Why didn’t ya leave me to the smelter? Why did you bring me back here? For what? Just to haunt me ghosts of the past, and what could have been?”

 

He turned his head back to the stone.

 

“I don’t know why I fell in love with you Prowl. I just did. And when I did, I never wanted to go back to bein’ alone. You were everythin’ ta me. I lived because of you. I lived for us. And now you’re gone, and I’m alone again, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to go on without you.”

 

He knelt and touched the stone.

 

“Help me Prowl, I cant go on without you. If feels… it feels like my soul is dying.”

 

Memories blind-sided him as he remembered his beloved mate. The strong, yet graceful build, the way he arched his doorwings, the rare smile only Jazz could get out of him, the quiet laugh. The intense blue optics that hid more emotions than others thought he was capable of. But Jazz knew him, knew every aspect of him.

 

“My soul’s dying Prowl, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

 

The wind grew chill and wrapped around him in icy coils. Rain began to fall, light and feathery at first, then harder so that the drops stung his metallic skin. The candle’s flame went out.

 

~*~

 

_Remember, I will still be here_

_As long as you hold me_

_In your memory…._

The Twins watched as Jazz returned to Autobot City and headed straight to his quarters without so much as a word or smile to anyone. Most Autobots had pretty much decided to give him a wide berth anyway, especially the younger and newer Autobots who didn’t really know him.

 

“Bunch of slagging ingrates,” Sideswipe muttered. “They have no idea what it feels like.”

 

“I’m afraid Sideswipe,” Sunstreaker said, not really paying attention to what his brother had said, his optics instead focused on Jazz’s retreating back.

 

“Afraid of what Sunny?”

 

“Afraid we might lose him.”

 

Sideswipe looked alarmed. “What do you mean?”

 

“He and Prowl had a bond Sides, just like you and I do. A deep bond…. Hound once said that he thought their souls were bonded, just like our sparks are bonded. And I believe him…. With Prowl gone now… I don’t know if Jazz will ever recover. He may be already lost.”

 

“Cant we help him? Somehow? Cant we talk to him?”

 

“All the talking in the world wont help him if he’s too far gone to listen. Sometimes, looking at him, I wonder if he’s even aware of what’s going on around him. He’s not living anymore Sides, he’s just existing. He doesn’t even listen to music anymore, I haven’t heard a single note from him, and that’s what’s worrying me. Normally, even if he couldn’t find comfort in us, he’d find it in his music. He’s not even doing that now.”

 

“Well, lets do something for him. Take him out for the day, just the three of us. Let him experience some of the things he used to love doing. We have to help him Sunny, he’d have done the same for us.”

 

“Its an idea Sides.” Sunstreaker smiled. “And it just might work. C’mon bro, lets go get some clearance. We might just be able to save Jazz yet!”

 

The two rushed off to see Rodimus Prime….

 

Jazz meanwhile, reached his quarters, went inside and sat down on his bunk. He didn’t bother switching on a light. He didn’t need it. There was nothing he really wanted to see in there anyway. His body ached, his head ached, but worse was the ache in his spark. The grief, the loneliness, it was slowly killing him. His spirit and his soul were slowly dying. He could feel it. Every minute he lost another part of himself.

 

He lay back in his bunk and shut off his optic sensors, then slowly drifted off.

 

Then suddenly he sensed a presence. He saw Prowl there with him, kneeling by his bunk, leaning over him and kissing his forehead just like he had done so many times before. He was smiling, and Jazz felt a smile slowly creep across his face too, for the first time in a long while. He felt the pain leave him, and his mind cleared. He could think again. He could hear music in his audios. He got up.

 

“I’ve gotta be dreaming,” he said. “There’s no way this can be real.”

 

“This is no dream Jazz,” Prowl said, as his white hand reached out and clasped the saboteur’s black one. “I’m as real as you are.” He leaned closer and kissed his mate softly. “See?”

 

“But… you…”

 

“I promised I would never leave you Jazz, and I haven’t. You’ll never be alone, not anymore. I’ll always be with you. Together forever right?”

 

“But how is this possible?”

 

“We’re soul mates, Jazz. Our souls are bonded. Where one soul is, so is the other. I said I’ll come back, so here I am.”

 

Jazz didn’t need anymore convincing. He reached out, and the two black and whites embraced tightly for a good, long while. Prowl gently stroked the back of the Porsche’s helm.

 

“I missed you so much,” Jazz whispered.

 

“I know,” Prowl replied. He pulled back and then kissed Jazz’s cheek. “C’mon, no more tears.” He brushed the lone drop off of his mate’s face. “We have a lot of catching up to do.”

 

Arms around each other, the two walked off.

 

“Prowl,” Jazz said suddenly.

 

“Yes, Jazz?”

 

“I love you.”

 

The tactician held the saboteur closer. “I love you too, Jazz.”

 

~*~

 

_Remember, when your dreams have ended_

_Time can be transcended_

_I live forever_

_Remember me…_

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker rushed down to Jazz’s quarters the next day and barged inside without so much as a knock.

 

“Hey Jazz, wake up! We got some good news for ya!” Sideswipe said cheerily.

 

“Sshhh!” Sunstreaker gave his brother a light smack. “If he’s finally managed to shut down, we don’t want to wake him up too suddenly. Primus knows he could use the rest.”

 

He went over and switched on a light. Sure enough, Jazz lay in his berth, his right hand crossed over his waist, his left hand stretched by his side. His face held the faint shadow of a gentle smile. The brothers looked at him fondly.

 

“He looks almost peaceful,” Sideswipe said.

 

Sunstreaker knelt down beside the bunk and gently shook the black and white mech.

 

“No,” he whispered.

 

Sideswipe’s smile faltered. “What… what is it? Sunny? Is Jazz alright?”

 

There was a long moment of silence, then Sunstreaker looked at his brother, a distraught expression on his face. “He… He’s dead Sideswipe. Jazz is dead.”

 

The red mech stood stunned for a while, staring at Jazz. And then he noticed it. The visor was dark. No light glowed from beneath it. There was no sound of the purr of internal systems. And though it was hard to notice, Jazz’s colors had faded.

 

“No.” Sideswipe knelt by his brother and shook the still mech, a look of pure horror on his face. Jazz didn’t move. “No! Jazz, NO!!” He stood up shakily, and staggered back into the wall. He turned, slammed his fist against it and began to hit it – hard. Over and over again. “Primus… Dammit!!” His optics burned. “No….” When he could hit it no longer, he came back and collapsed against his brother, crying bitterly. “No.”

 

Sunstreaker clutched the dead black and white’s hand, eventhough part of him knew that it had been a possibility. He knew that one could never have lived without the other. He held his brother tight with his other arm, even as tears streamed down his own face. Jazz had been more than just a good friend to them. He had been their guardian. And now he was gone.

 

_Remember me…_

They buried Jazz on Memorial Hill, next to Prowl’s grave, and on both stones, below their respective names, they carved the words ‘Soul Mates’…. Only a few Autobots came – those who knew him from the Ark – and fewer actually grieved, save those whose lives the Special Operations Saboteur had touched in some special way – Hound, Mirage, Bluestreak, Perceptor, Blaster; the Twins especially. When all the other Autobots had finally left, the brothers remained.

 

They stood together, side by side, looking down at the twin graves, tears still running down their faces as they held each other’s hands, sharing their sorrow.

 

“I don’t understand,” Sideswipe said. “First Aid said there was nothing that could have killed him. No wounds or internal injuries. No toxic chemicals or corrosives in his fuel lines. Nothing.”

 

“Grief and loneliness can be killers too,” Sunstreaker replied softly.

 

“It was like he just gave up living, but why?”

 

The yellow mech looked at his brother. “If you ever lost me, would you want to go on living?”

 

The red twin didn’t answer.

 

“He would have died anyway, no matter how much he may have wanted to live. When you’re bonded to someone the way he and Prowl were bonded, its inevitable. Sooner or later he would have died. He just chose to go sooner, and I cant say I blame him. I don’t think he was ever meant to be parted from Prowl.”

 

“You think they’re together now?”

 

“I know they are. And this time, they’ll never be parted again.”

 

“So what do we do?” Sideswipe asked. “I don’t feel like doing this anymore, without the others. I miss them too much Sunny, all of them, but especially Jazz and Prowl. And I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll forget them. I don’t want to forget them.”

 

Sunstreaker wrapped an arm around his brother’s shoulders. “We have memories, we remember. As long as we have them in our memories, they’ll live forever – in us.”

 

_Remember… Me…_

 ~End.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Written around late 2004. This fic was the result of a challenge a friend and I posed to each other: to kill off our favorite characters. My challenge was to attempt to have Jazz die. Safe to say I don't want to go through the experience very often. I almost couldn't go through with it.


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